Pure wickedness

O.K., it's here. The 'wanting to cry all the time' is here. And I don't cry, I get withdrawn and angry. And angry and angry.

Papa has been in hospice for almost three years and he suffers from Vascular Dementia. He also has TIA, which are little strokes, often. This means that at age 92, he cannot speak, is unable to do anything for himself, wears a nappy and depends on the staff at Hospice for absolutely everything.

Yesterday, I bumped into one of the Carers who spends a lot of time with Papa each day. Marco is also Croatian, and able to speak to Papa in his natural tongue. During the course of our conversation, I mentioned to him that Mama came home from the hospice all excited with the news that she signed special papers which would allow Papa's Dr's to start 'treatment' which would enable Papa to speak again. I was dubious but hoped all the same.
Needless to say, in true Croatian manner and in no uncertain terms he told me Mama is really messed up. Marco also mentioned that something should be done about the distress Mama causes Pa each time she visits. She has no idea that Marco understands every word, the nagging and name calling that she spews at Papa each time she visits, accusing Pa of having his last 'affair' at age 89, and Pa has to confess to her before he dies to relieve himself of the burden of guilt, and she also 'knows' he can speak and gives him hell for his silence and keeping the truth from her. Over and over she's at him. And the really scary thing is , it's all done with a smile on her face apparently, and the Ossie staff have no idea what she is saying. --

Dear God --